Hello

Hello darkness, my old friend, 
I've come to talk with you again...


People talking without speaking, 
People hearing without listening

Less and less neck pain - I'm not sure if this was because the physio was amazing or if it's 'natural healing'!
However, for now I'll give the physio the benefit of the doubt.

Thankyou Lord for giving me the ability to get through this with you, providing wonderful, concerned and supportive friends and family to help me.

Once again, you've been there for me.
I feel so relieved to leave everything in your hands, for whatever I have needed you have provided me.

I think there are aspects to my personality that are quite like those found in autism.

Shame.

I must look after my health - it's all we really have in our older age.

NO STARVATION DIETS.

I'm going to do this the proper way :)

Thankyou Lord for the beautiful day today :)

Don't know how to feel about the punches, I guess all I really can do is roll with them.  In some ways I'm glad, and in others, I'm not so sure.

STOP READING MY BLOG SEG :(

The shattered shards of the plane, my thoughts, lay beside me, in some kind of grotesque union of obscurity. Indeed, you have been food for thought.  Maybe I'll learn some day, to accept the unacceptable, but for now, you remain that lethal yet potent poison that so consumes my every waking moment.

             For the first cognitive time, I truly understood how and why people become bitter and cynical, for myself, an obsession quelled;
warranted by experience.
             Indeed, there lies meaning in failure, relief in disappointment, and, if I may, a perfection in pain that serves as justification of an otherwise inconsequential existance..
            Thus, there is hope in desperation, there must be, I believe, as the enduring motivation of the human spirit.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." 
Marilyn Monroe

I'm so sorry

Just be a bit more cautious next time. It’s easy to fall in love, just don’t fall in love too easily.


It's easy to fall in love - it's staying in love that's hard

I've got somewhere else to be,
promises to keep
And someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that


It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you...

I have

no right to be jealous, no right to think too much.
Stop. Thinking. Just. Make. It. Stop.

Things that give me goosebumps

• It freaks me out SO hard when hardcore girls act cute and innocent
• Watching supposedly 'not-scary' movies that I then go on to dream about for days / weeks afterwards
• Knowing my exams are only 3 days away and yet... I'm still... pro-cras-tin-ating

I am

dysl

dislecs

I can't spell

HOME

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

So...

Late into the third week of my new course, I realise how inadequate I am in every single way.

I'm no better at anatomy, chemistry, microbiology, etc. than anybody else.
I'm no nicer, no funnier, no more talented nor jovial, no more relavent, and most of all, I'm not even up to parr with "average" looking women.

I guess it makes sense really,
I mean, there must be an average in the world.
That means a many fall below that average. What made me ever think that I could be special in any way?

I'm just...

Average.

No worse, below average.


I miss you baby. I think the way you make me feel when I'm around you is beautiful. Like you're not ever looking at another girl when we're together. Like I'm special to you. That you chose me because we make a great team.


I'm just... thinking too much again.
But I love you.